I once asked my Grade 5 students to write about their crushes in their journals. Squeals and catcalls erupted from the boys. I spied the girls blushing, whispering, and giggling among themselves. But after awhile they were already busily writing and trying hard to cover their writings lest a classmate take a peek on their "crush." One boy boldly came to me and whispered, "Ma'am, can I write about you?" I hastily said, "NO! Write about somebody your age." He embarrassingly retreated back to his seat and wrote about a classmate instead. I wanted to kick myself that instant. Is it too much to just give the boy a chance to write about his "older" crush? It's creative writing so why couldn't I have just given him the liberty to write about whoever he wants to write? Besides, it would have been cute to read about what he have to say about me. Sometimes, in the classroom, I act too hastily without giving my decision a thought. I'm too wrapped up with order, rules, and instructions.
Here's another incident; This naughty, naughty boy kept on saying "testicles" in a sing-songy voice. I told him to stop it but continued to do so. That encouraged the other boys to follow suit. I told him to come in front. He's the president of the class so he thought we'll have a meeting of sort. I told him that next time he says that word he'll open his pants and show his "testicles" to his classmates. The class burst out laughing. He never said the word again. But I'm not sure if I did the right thing. You see, when he went back to his chair he looked back at me with so much hatred in his eyes. I could see that he was embarrassed but I never thought children are capable of strong hatred. Couldn't I have just reprimanded him personally? I felt bad about it afterwards. Sometimes, when it comes to discipline I am not sure if I'm good at it. In fact, I rely on the children's affection rather on discipline when it comes to classroom management. One father gave me the feedback that I am not firm on the kids and that I should be strict on them. I'm sorry, sir, but you don't know what's going on in the classroom. I have my own way of dealing with them. It may not be your style but it works for me. I stand by the belief that humans are inherently good but I sometimes feel a pull where humans are inherently evil, too.

This other incident shows that students have their own basis for the good and the bad; Around dismissal time, the children were already outside playing when a group of boys came to me with a teary-eyed classmate in tow. When I asked him what's wrong, he started wiping his tears and said, "My classmates are teasing me that I pooed in the restroom." I laughed really hard when I heard him say that. You would laugh if you were me (I laughed over un-funny matters). It's amusing to see that children get embarrassed over nature's call. I just realized I committed an unforgiving act when the boys said, "Ma'am, you laughed! You're a baaaaad teacher!" I laughed even harder. The next day, word spread in the classroom that Ma'am Van laughed at one of their classmates because he pooed in the classroom. Of course, he denied the accusation. Until now, I am not sure if he really did pooh that day. Students have so much expectations. They expect you to be good. By good means, lenient and relaxed. You're bad if you give too many assignments, call on their parents all the time, send them to the Guidance Office for disciplinary actions... I admit I had been baaaaaad... Sometimes what they think is bad is actually good for them.

Ah, I'm starting to miss my kids. They'll be in grade 6 this opening. Adolescents in the making... My elementary teaching years were hard but I learned a lot.

This schoolyear, I'll be teaching high school. New school, new students, new culture, new co-teachers, new heads... I know I'll be learning more...

Comments

[kudyapiNmann]

hahaha van ur a great. wait 5 to 8 years some bodys gonna say thats my crush in grade5 maam van.:)

i miss us telling each othe story story.:)

gud luck teacher van....