Eyeglasses.

I thank God for these wonderful invention. What would I do without them? Without them I can still see forms and outlines but I can't recognize faces anymore unless you're an arm's length away from me. I'm terrible with names and now that I have myopic eyes I might as well have Alzheimer's. So I apologize to my acquaintances who probably expected me to notice them but wasn't given the attention because of my optic troubles. Next time we'll cross each other's paths better wave your hands like crazy or do cartwheels (the most sensible thing to do of course is just to call my monosyllabic name) to get my attention otherwise you'll just be another floating ghost for me.

"To save ourselves from doing cartwheels, why don't you just wear your eyeglasses all the time, Van?"

Good question.

And I've got a good answer for that.

You see, that's the whole point. Without my eyeglasses I don't have to greet people. I don't have to greet people I don't like! It'll save me from trouble too. One bad habit of mine is I like to stare. And not just stare but really STARE for a loooooooong time. Yep, and it gave me so much trouble in the past. One man thought I was flirting when I was actually just fascinated with the mole on his forehead. A little girl cried because I was ogling at her pigtails which remind me of Freud (what's the connection, don't ask me). That's why while walking and travelling I don't wear my cyclops.

One good thing about being half-blind is that you have a choice of seeing the world the way it is or just pretend that eyesores (like the campaign bills on walls around you) don't exist. 

X'cess: I've outgrown my eyeglasses and been wearing contacts but really, nothing beats my good 'ole trustworthy antipara.